THE LOVELY LINDA:

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11 Responses to “THE LOVELY LINDA:”

  1. Kwai Chang says:

    There couldn’t possibly be a lonelier place than Cancer…
    …and, so, why is the poor victim left to be the strongest of all those affected?
    The non-victims are such cowards…I WAS!!!
    The hapless patient is the one to transcend the fear and give the onlookers a little inner strength…in a race against the few remaining grains of sand in the “ourglass”…
    These pictures are a tribute…no matter what your feelings tell you…

  2. Ishie says:

    Kwai, beautifully said. I have always thought that the affected are given a special grace and a silent strength that allows them to fight and to continue to live their life to the fullest capacity possible regardless of what destiny has in store.
    I don’t believe you to be a coward. There are many ways to deal and cope with tragic circumstances and we aim to do the best we can. It’s never easy ….
    Linda was very real … honest … loving and believed in the beauty of life. You’re correct … these photos are a testament to all that she was!

  3. Kwai Chang says:

    Well, thank you Ishie…
    Western culture doesn’t offer much reflection
    (…even less in California…even less than that in L.A. etcetera)
    that can wipe away the selfishness and leave one humble.
    Those with the disease are forced to become introspective…but, the rest of us usually don’t know how. Cancer has a very unfunny sense of humor in this regard. Enlightenment is immediate and ugly…this can leave friends and loved ones terrified rather than compassionate. So, the patient may suddenly ‘lose’ loved ones simply because there is no ability to cope…and, so, they stay away rather than risk actually not knowing what to do or say. It is the kind of irony that is tragic beyond anything we can prepare for. I was exactly this way when my mother was diagnosed with Cancer. I was not there for my Mom in the early stages. No amount of soul searching helped. It wasn’t until I figured out how to wear my fear like a badge that I was able to show up and “be there” for her. There is no way to know how to act. All life is made up of tiny moments and I didn’t care to figure them out…only to share as many as possible with my Mom. Love cannot be truly measured until the moment of parting. These pictures of Linda seem to support my hypothesis. We don’t see too many pics of Linda alone…but, to see her with Cancer…ALONE…just made me wonder why! It doesn’t make sense, but, there she is. We all lost something when Linda died…I think she was brave but I bet she never thought of it. I just felt it vital to say something about the photos that show her facing the Cancer…and giving death no place to enter.

  4. Nancy Taylor says:

    Wasn’t Linda diagnosed in 1995? These photos are dated 1992.

  5. Ishie says:

    I lost my mom to cancer as well and very suddenly. She was diagnosed, operated on and passed away within a 16 day period. That was so overwhelming to handle. It was very difficult to comprehend and I was left with a myriad of questions. Time and patience and cherishing the times I spent with her and the love I have for her always carries me over the rough spots.
    I wish the same for you Kwai . Much peace & warm memories!

  6. Tammy says:

    It strips things to a base level, i don’t think there is a right or wrong, because it’s at a base level strange things happen, the normally strong crumble, the percieved weak rise up and become empowered, it’s the ultimate duality, everything is thrown into the blender, but i found at the centre of the storm, the sufferer, is a calm, while all around is chaos. Crazy stuff happens, people flail. You’ll never ‘ever’ hear a critisism from me on how Paul met up with, and attached himself to Mills fourteen months after Linda’s passing. I call it the ‘Falling man syndrome’, where when someone is falling they flail wildly, grabbing, reaching for anything to latch onto to stop them falling, i don’t for a second think it had anything to do with her looks etc, the man was desparate for a lifeboat. Someone explained to me that it wasn’t so soon for him, because with grief, even tho you can hope for the best, in the back of your mind the grieving process starts at the moment of diagnosis. This is also why i give Yoko a free pass, it’s too easy to just make a base judgement on her actions in time after Johns passing, you have to look at the bigger picure of someone who survived horrific conditions in WW II, and reading between the lines, horrific acts just to survive, and feed and protect her siblings, sometimes with grief comes a self preservation instinct, sometimes learned, sometimes by nature. Whatever the case may be, grief is very personal and unique to every individual and circumstance, there is no right or wrong, it’s a journey, not a destination.

  7. Tammy says:

    Yes, these photos are three years before Linda became ill.

  8. Ishie says:

    Grief is an emotion that takes on many forms and leads the stricken down different paths. I do believe that is what happened to Paul. I am not saying that he didn’t love Mills only that I just feel that he was looking for a vehicle to get out of his despair.
    The only thing we can attempt to do for ourselves during the grieving process is to be good to ourselves and to hold onto the thought that we will survive and carry on.

  9. KTH says:

    Having survived cancer twice, I can say that I don’t know if it’s that we get the grace thing on, it’s just that we’re so petrified that somewhere deep down we think that if we’re on our best behaviour the gods and goddesses will give us a pass. ;)

    Re Yoko–surely seeing your husband murdered must throw you so way off kilter it isn’t funny, but I can’t imagine taking photos of his blood-stained glasses for my album cover.

    Just sayin’.

  10. Tammy says:

    I understand the glasses totally, it’s the same mindset Jackie Kennedy had when refusing to take of the pink suit, ‘Let them see what they’ve done’. As Yoko said, ‘Johns belongings came back to me in a bloody paper bag, that’s what he’d been reduced to’.

  11. Aeolian Cadence says:

    Kwai and Ishie, I am so sorry that you know this pain so intimately. And Tammy, thanks for your compassion. (And for the photos.)

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